Romance scams: warning signs and how to protect yourself

What a romance scam is and how it works

A romance scam is when someone builds an emotional relationship behind a false or heavily embellished identity and uses that relationship to obtain money, gifts or personal data. The sequence is almost always the same, and knowing the pattern makes it far easier to recognise that you are inside it.

1. A profile is built for a specific audience

   A fake account usually has a few attractive photos, a short emotional description and a flawless story. Profiles aimed at men often present a lonely, sensitive woman with no material expectations. Profiles aimed at women more often present a well off man working abroad and raising a child on his own.

2. Trust is built very fast

   The first days bring a flood of attention: morning messages, long voice notes, plans for a shared future. Within a couple of weeks the language of love and marriage appears. The goal is to reach a strong attachment before you have had time to think.

3. The conversation is moved off the platform

   At some point you are asked to switch to a messaging app or email, and the reason sounds harmless. The result is that the platform records, the report button and the block button all stop applying.

4. An urgent money story appears

   A hospital bill, a parcel held at customs, a frozen account, a visa fee or the price of a ticket. The story is always sudden, always urgent and usually starts with a small amount. Once the first payment goes through, the requests grow.

5. Questions are met with avoidance

   When you ask for proof, request a video call or simply slow down, one of three reactions follows: reproach and blame, a new emergency, or silence. At that stage ending the contact is the right decision.

The same pattern applies when the roles are reversed. Someone writing from Turkey who asks for money for a visa, translation or invitation raises exactly the same warning as someone writing from abroad who asks for ticket money.

12 warning signs

No single sign below is proof on its own. When several appear together, slow the conversation down and move to the verification steps.

1. They keep avoiding a video call

   A broken camera, weak internet, too much work. The reasons change but the outcome is the same: you never see their face live.

2. Few photos, and all of them too perfect

   There are a handful of studio quality shots and no ordinary everyday pictures. A request for a new photo in a simple pose you choose is refused.

3. The emotional language moves too fast

   Love within days, marriage within weeks. Rapid attachment is the most common tool for moving you away from asking questions.

4. They immediately want to talk off the platform

   In the first messages they ask for your number or an account on another app. Messages kept inside the platform are the only record that can be reviewed if something goes wrong.

5. The details do not add up

   Age, city, occupation, marital status or time zone shift over time. When you scroll back through older messages, contradictions appear.

6. Every meeting plan collapses

   The ticket was bought but the flight was cancelled, the visa was refused, work came up. Real relationships have setbacks too, but every plan failing at the last moment and each failure creating a new expense is not normal.

7. There is urgency and pressure

   Today, right now, within a few hours. Urgency is manufactured so that you cannot think it over or ask someone you trust.

8. They suggest unusual payment methods

   A gift card code, a crypto wallet address or the account of a third person you do not know. These channels are chosen because the money is almost impossible to recover.

9. They bring up earnings and investments

   After a while the conversation drifts towards crypto, currency trading or a trading app. A small test amount shows a profit, and obstacles begin the moment you try to withdraw.

10. They ask for intimate photos or video

    Explicit material later becomes a blackmail tool. Do not send it to anyone at any stage.

11. They collect your personal and financial data

    Document numbers, bank details, home address, workplace, your child's school. As the conversation goes on, the questions stop being innocent.

12. They ask you to keep the relationship secret

    They tell you not to mention it to family or friends, that this is your private world. Isolation is the strongest tool in these scenarios.

How to verify photos and identity

Turning a doubt into certainty is quick and free. In most cases it is enough to work through the steps below in order.

1. Run a reverse image search

   Save the profile photo to your device and upload it to an image search engine. If the same picture appears under a different name, in a different country or on a stock photo site, the account is fake. Do not stop at one frame; search every photo on the profile separately.

2. Ask for a live video call

   A short call is enough. During the call ask for something simple and immediate: a hand on the cheek, three fingers held up, or the camera turned around the room. A pre recorded video cannot answer that request.

3. Look for the identity verification badge

   Check whether the profile carries a verification badge. The badge means the account has been matched against an official identity document, which makes creating fake profiles noticeably harder.

4. Test the details for consistency

   Ask natural questions about the weather in their city, the local time, a street nearby or an everyday expression in their native language. Delayed answers, changes of subject or sentences that read like machine translation deserve attention.

5. Look at the account history

   Recently created accounts with half empty fields, a couple of photos and very intense attention from day one carry higher risk. Do not rush; within a few days the picture usually becomes clear.

On the SlavicPartner side, the identity of women members is reviewed manually by the team and verified profiles are marked with a badge. For members who prefer not to show their pictures publicly there is a hidden photo option: the photos open only to the person the member has granted access to. These two features reduce risk, but they do not replace the verification steps above.

When someone asks for money, gifts, investments or a ticket

This is the most important section of the guide. A request for money is the most common and most costly stage of a romance scam.

There is one rule: never send money to a person you have never met face to face, for any reason at all. How convincing the reason sounds changes nothing.

1. Visa, passport or permit fees

   Visa and passport procedures are completed by the person themselves and paid to official institutions. There is no such thing as a visa fee paid through a third person.

2. Money for a plane ticket

   Instead of transferring money, offer to buy the ticket yourself and send it over. Someone who genuinely intends to travel will accept; someone who wants the cash usually backs away.

3. Gift cards and crypto

   A gift card code, a crypto wallet address or an account that is not in your name. These channels are chosen because they cannot be reversed, so the request itself is already a sufficient warning.

4. Customs, shipping or parcel fees

   The story of a valuable parcel supposedly sent to you and held at customs is a classic invention. There is no parcel.

5. Hospital, accident or lawyer costs

   A story about sudden illness or an accident pushes emotional pressure to its peak. That is exactly the moment not to decide anything; tell someone you trust what is happening.

6. An invitation to invest

   An offer to earn together through crypto, currency trading or a trading app. A small test shows a profit, then a larger investment is requested, and withdrawal becomes impossible.

If you have already sent money, do not blame yourself: these scenarios are designed to be convincing. Do the following straight away: call your bank, report the transaction and ask whether it can be reversed; keep every message, the profile link and the payment records as screenshots; report and block the person on the platform; then contact the official channels below. If the requests continue, make no further payments and cut contact completely.

Where to report it

Your report matters both for your own case and for the protection of other members. Keep your records and then get in touch.

• CIMER (Presidency Communication Centre, Turkey)

  The general channel for applications and complaints in Turkey. You can open a case by summarising the events, the dates and the documents you hold.

• Turkish National Police, Cybercrime Department

  The unit responsible for fraud committed online. You can also file a report directly with your provincial police headquarters or the public prosecutor.

• Cyberpolice of Ukraine

  The dedicated unit for reports from Ukraine. A report can be submitted online through the site.

If you live elsewhere, contact the cybercrime unit of your national police force and your bank.

Inside the platform, every profile page carries a report and a block option. Adding examples from your conversation when you submit the report speeds up the review. A member you block cannot write to you again.

Safe dating rules in short

These rules apply to online messaging and to the first meeting alike.

• Keep messaging inside the platform so a record exists.
• In the first months make a video call a normal step.
• Do not share identity documents, bank details or your home address.
• Do not send intimate photos or video.
• Do not send money, gift cards or crypto for any reason.
• Hold the first meeting in a busy public place.
• Tell someone close where you are going and with whom.
• The moment you feel uncomfortable, end the meeting without explaining.

For a detailed checklist before you meet: Safe dating guide

Related pages

• Trust Center
• Safe dating guide
• Women members
• Men members
• Marrying a Ukrainian woman: guide

Frequently asked questions